Day Thirteen: "Love Fights Fair"

"If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand."

Mark 3:25

"The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That's because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You're the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off a cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes."

The Dare: "Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If you mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs."

The Outcome: This is a subject Nate and I rarely consider until we are in the heat of battle, then it's too late to implore logical reason. I can hear you gasping as you read, "You and Nate fight?!?!" YES! We have many heated battles. We are two very strong-willed, stubborn people. There is bound to be some interesting fights. We are good at putting our arguments on hold in social settings, though. Which is why some people (except those closest to us) think we must never argue. Well, now that the cat is out of the bag, I will take it one step further. I, Danielle Burlison, am a "name-caller" during battles. I'm not talking cursing, I'm talking childish words that I used when I fought with my brothers, "stupid, idiot, dumby, etc..." What can I say? The only practice I've had in arguments is with my brothers and those words always seemed to work back then! I know, I know. It's not something I'm proud of or care to admit to the blogging/Facebook world, but if this blog is about being real and helping people understand they are normal, then my pride has to be set aside. 

Needless to say, our number one rule to fighting fair is, "No name-calling." If I'm honest about the reasons I call names, it would be to try and find the best word to hurt Nathan. Do I love him? Of course. Would I rather kill him during some arguments? You bet. We've learned through this book, and by slowing down and thinking about our life together, that love doesn't try to cut each other down "in the moment." Love decides to lose the battle in order to win the war. Love fights fair...

DAY THIRTEEN: SUCCESS

27 days and counting...