"I Am Enough"

"The LORD your God is with you, 

   the Mighty Warrior who saves. 

He will take great delight in you; 

   in his love he will no longer rebuke you, 

   but will rejoice over you with singing."

I love this verse. It reminds me that God tends to be a verb, not a noun. He's always "doing" something. Check out this verse. He's a Warrior who saves, he takes delight, he loves, he doesn't rebuke, he rejoices and he sings. I bet he has a voice similar to Josh Groban's. I don't know about you, but sometimes it's hard for me to believe he wants to SING over me. I mean, my husband sings to me here and there. My mom sang to me when I was a baby. People sang "Happy Birthday" to me just the other day. Owen sings songs to me and I must say they are all precious! But, God?! The God of the universe wants to not just sing about me, but rejoice about it?! Really?? He knows every past mistake, every current mistake, and every mistake to come and he still rejoices over me. If that doesn't give you a warm, tingly feeling, I don't know much else that will. 

That's unconditional love. Love that doesn't depend on how much I talk to him, how often I pray, or how "good" I was that day. That is a love that loves no matter what the conditions. So, you feel "unworthy" of this kind of love? You aren't alone. I've felt that way before. I'm sure Judas (the one that gave Jesus up to the soldiers) did. After all, he hung himself shortly after making that mistake. I bet Peter felt similar after denying he even knew Jesus. He didn't feel worthy to be crucified in the same manner as Jesus, so he asked to be crucified upside down. King David had an affair with a married woman, got her pregnant, then secretly had her husband killed in combat to cover up the mistake. Yet after all of that, God called him "...a man after My heart." 

God doesn't hold the same gavel we do. He doesn't hold past sins or regrets against us. He sees our hearts. He sees who we are meant to be. And he loves us as we are, not as we should be, because we will never be as we "should" be.

"Did you know every time you say, 'I love you' to God, he says, "Thank You?" Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted."

Words for the Weary

It's compassion fatigue. It's well doer's burnout. It happens sometimes when a very dedicated, committed disciple of Jesus suddenly wakes up and realized he's tired - tired of giving, tired of doing, tired of serving. He finds that the joy of service is gone.

Ever feel like that? Most of the time, for me, there's always something that "ignites" the feeling of weariness. In my twenty years of being a Christian, I've gone through many cycles of fatigue. Of course we all go through physical and mental fatigue, but I'm speaking of spiritual fatigue. Have you been there? In fact, I've been there for the last couple of months.

I think it started when my husband was called out of town for what we thought may be a week or so, and turned out being 21 days. Oddly enough, you know the old saying, "...it takes 21 days to make or break a habit." I'd have to say I believe it. It took just that long for me to grow weary. Somewhere between working, caring for my three year old, cooking and cleaning, I felt something had to give. Obviously, I had to work, my three year old couldn't care for himself, eating was of most importance and my house had to be cleaned in order to maintain my sanity. So, what did that leave? My quiet times. Sure, they are some of my most treasured times. But, when you are the only "caregiver" at  home, working from sun up to sun down,  the last thing that seems appealing is waking up at 5am. So, I decided to put my 5am companion on hold until Nate returned home. After all, He is one Companion that has nothing but time to wait around on me, right? One week went by, two weeks, then the longest week of all: the third week. However, things didn't go quite as easy as I'd planned. When Nathan returned home, it didn't seem so easy just to pick up where I left off. Prayer came a little harder for me. Willingness to wake up early came more as a chore than a desire.


I'm happy to say, as of last night, I've gotten my ninety-fifth wind. Sure, most people call it their "second wind," however I've been through this cycle MANY times before. I like to call it "battle fatigue." You fight the good fight, become diligent in reading the word, wear a smile on your face everywhere you go, then all of a sudden your strength is zapped. Sometimes it happens because of circumstances beyond your control. Sometimes you get bitter towards God and turn away. Sometimes you make mistakes, some of them HUGE mistakes in your eyes, and you feel unworthy to stand in His presence any longer. I've been through all of the above reasons to give up. There was a time when I would allow myself to become weary, then feel guilty upon returning to my "diligence" in serving the Lord. Not anymore. I've grown to know there are seasons in life, and it's easier for God to understand us than it is for us to understand ourselves. I've come to trust that God really will "never leave or forsake me." I take comfort now in knowing that God already knows we will grow weary: "Let us NOT grow weary in doing good...Galatians 6:9." 


No matter what seems to be in between you and God right now, know he's just on the other side of it, waiting for you. Is it because he has nothing better to do than wait around for us? No, it's because He loves us so much, there is nothing He'd RATHER do! 

The Mirror of Erised

"The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly how he is. Men have wasted away before it, not knowing if what they have seen is real, or even possible." - Albus Dumbledore


    In honor of the newest and final movie of the Harry Potter series debuting this week (enter excitement here), I thought I'd dedicated my blog today to it. These movies have faced a lot of heat from the religious world, among others. As some would see them as an "introduction" into a dark world, I see them as a unique way to learn life lessons, but more importantly, spiritual lessons. I'm not real sure why people tend to believe God can only use church, gospel music, and "hell, fire and brimstone" preachers to reach people. I like to think of God as "outside the box." I believe He enjoys seeing us take spiritual lessons from things that would otherwise be considered "taboo."


    Harry Potter is definitely considered a "taboo" to the Pharisees of the world. I can imagine "the mirror of Erised" would be labelled the same. It's a magical mirror that was hidden away in a room that was for safe keeping. Harry, being the mischievious boy he is, stumbled across it. He would frequently go back and visit this mirror. What was the lure that had him returning again and again? He could see his family in this mirror. The Mirror of Erised  shows the "deepest and most desperate desire of our hearts." The happiest person in the whole world would look in the mirror and see a reflection of exactly the way he or she is. Inscribed across the top of the frame is the following text: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. Reversing the inscription and rearranging the spaces produces: I show not your face but your heart's desire. Dumbledore warned Harry about gazing too long upon this mirror. He told him he had seen many men waste away in front of it, seeing things they most desired but could never have.They began to prefer seeing those hidden desires fulfilled in that mirror than their own realities. 

     How often do we look upon our past, wishing to go back? Some of us may wish to relive our high school days forever. Others may desire to turn the clock back and mend a relationship with a parent before it was too late. And some would rather give up their responsibilities, bills, work, etc. to reflect on how easy life was as a kid. Others may have some deeper horrors in their past they'd like to go back and erase. No matter what the reason, we could  all learn something from Dumbledore's warning: "Looking into the past gives us neither knowledge or truth." Let's stop looking back and learn to face today as the best yet to come.

If you haven't seen the scene with Harry and Dumbledore, or you just want to watch it again (like me), you can see it below.