The Crossroads

"Then Mary...poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume." John 12:3


If you haven't read the story of the maiden from Bethany, Mary, and her "taboo" act of love, you should check it out. Back in the day, not only were women not supposed to be a part of the gathering with men, they were also to never let their hair down in public. The jar of perfume that she poured on Jesus' feet, was no ordinary perfume. It was worth nearly a year's wages. It was also considered a big part, if not all, of her dowry that would secure her to married. It's easy to look at this story as just a woman who came and poured some perfume around, got the room smelling good, and just wanted to create a little attention from the men in the room. But, when you take into consideration the what that jar of perfume meant to her, it takes on a whole different meaning, a lot deeper than what's on the surface. Mary gave up her significance. She gave up her past and every penny earned. She gave up her future. She gave up her reputation as a "lady" and took her hair down to wipe up the perfume.
I'm sure Mary stood at an invisible crossroad as she stood in the corner of the room. "To give my all in front of these men, or shrink back in fear of judgement?" Shaking, nervous, heart racing as she took that long walk across the room to sit in front of her Savior. The eyes of the disciples burning holes through her. The whispers around the room, judging her undignified actions. I can see Mary holding that jar, focusing on the eyes of Jesus as she walked. Knowing that when she got to him, he would know her heart. He would see her sacrifice. He would change her life. When she finally made it to Jesus, she was completely humbled, stripped of herself, offering everything she had and everything she was.
Seems a bit ridiculous, huh? In reality, God asks us to do the same. Maybe not in the same way, after all we live in different times. It wouldn't cost us much to go out and buy some perfume and break the jar in His presence. But, God expects us to sacrifice some things in our lives. We will one day stand at the crossroad. One road will be labeled "to know Christ," the other will be labeled "to experience Christ." And there is a difference. One that will affect your life. One that will turn your heart of self into a heart of sacrificial love. One that will cause you to abandon all and take that long walk across the room to meet Jesus. God wants us to give our all, not because he NEEDS our attention. But, he knows if following him doesn't cost us something, it won't mean anything in the long run. You will eventually come to that crossroads of "all or nothing." And if you have, and decided to take the wrong road, there's a savior waiting to meet you in the middle and guide you back to the crossroads.

"Until we determine whom we will serve, we run the risk of developing a Judas heart instead of a heart of sacrificial love. For whenever our interests conflict with His interests, we'll be tempted to sell off Christ as a slave to the highest bidder, rather than spend our all to anoint His feet."

Should You Trust Me?

"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man." Psalm 118:8

"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool...." Proverbs 28:26

"Do not trust in a friend; do not put your confidence in a companion;" Micah 7:5

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?
I, the Lord, search the heart; I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." Jeremiah 17:8-10

Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God...." 2 Corinthians 1:8-10

These are some interesting verses about trust. Ones that make you really question what God's point is here. So, does this mean if my husband isn't putting His trust in God, that I shouldn't trust him? What about my friends? If they don't love the Lord, should I love them from a distance?
I think God put alot of "nuggets" about trust in scripture for us to contemplate. Ultimately, left to ourselves and our human nature (not being changed by God), we are lustful, spiteful, deceitful, hateful and untrustworthy. That is why when Jesus comes into your life, he commands you to lay down your life in order for him to give you a new one. It's interesting that His call isn't to bring the life you have now to Him and let him "doctor"it up. God sees our human nature so destructive that we MUST trade it for a new one; one only He can create. A life that only will survive by staying attached to the Vine.
I don't know your struggles, temptations or shortcomings, but I know mine. If left to my self, without God in the equation, I am bad to the bone. I'm a rude, self-seeking, attention-thriving, rebellious girl. For sake of my family, friendships, marriage and well-being, I've got to stay close to God. I can't put any confidence in who I am in my sinful nature. My confidence, and so should YOUR confidence in me, comes from the Lord and my relationship with Him.
God is love. If you don't know Him, spend time with Him, talk with Him, how will you know love? Who are you away from God? Would you trust someone like you? When left to ourselves, we will destroy everything and everyone we love. Do you love them, and yourself enough, to allow God to exchange that old rebellious life for a new one? My family, friendships and marriage depends solely on who I am in Christ. Even if you won't acknowledge it, yours does to.

Friendship: What's the Point?

“Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. Then go to your people in exile and say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says!’ Do this whether they listen to you or not.” Ezekiel 3:10-11

Ever wonder why we need friendships? Being a female, I can be the first to say that we are NOT always easy to get along with. We are sensitive, bicker over petty issues, turn into hormonal monsters once a month and obsess over the most insignificant details in life. So, what's the point? Wouldn't it be easier to keep to myself and let other girls wallow in their own dramatic lives? It sounds like a good idea, but we would rob ourselves of one of the biggest ways God uses to speak to us.

I can be the first to admit that sometimes I may seem overbearing in my "rebuke" to my friends. If you are looking for a friend to share your life goals with and expect they will hold you to it, look no longer! You've found her. I've found with friendships, there are some that just want to be consoled in their decision they've made for the day, no matter how different it was from the original decision they made to follow. You better believe, as your friend, I will call you out on it, especially if it's a commitment you originally made to God, and now other things are swaying you. I get upset with myself sometimes with my brutal honesty with my friends. And trust me, when you speak with that kind of rebuke, you don't have many friends that will choose to stick around. But I have those few who've learned who I am, who I serve, and the reasons I hold them accountable.

I can't promise I will never have screw-ups in my life. I can't promise I will never fail you. I can't promise that I will always tell you what you want to hear. But I can promise you I will remain true to my God and pursue Him each day. I can promise, if I am a friend of yours, you can count on me to seek God first before I answer your question. In the same way God told Ezekiel to "let all my words sink deep into your own heart first," I promise to do the same. And you better believe, I will go to you and speak the truth in love, whether you listen or not. My goal is to not just be your friend in life, but be your friend in Christ. I want abundant life for you. I want to see you keep true to your words. I want to help and encourage you to stay committed and keep your eyes on God, because I know all too well, and too painfully, what can happen when you take your eyes off Him. Cherish those friendships that won't leave you broken, but will direct you to the One who can fix you.

"We must perceive with the ear before we receive in the heart. For although God prepares his children for hearing, and gives them ears for that purpose, yet his teaching does not penetrate to their minds before it has been received by the ear."

God of the Universe or Genie in a Lamp? You decide...

"If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you." Proverbs 1:23

This verse really tugged at my heart. You hear people use a familiar bible verse to respond to any matter that ruffles your feathers: "Ask and it shall be given to you." Well, what happens when we ask, and it's not given? Is God a liar? Does he not WANT to give us what it is we are asking for?

I think the problem begins when our view of God becomes distorted. When we view him as a genie in a lamp instead of a Father looking out for what's best for us, we are bound for trouble and confusion. Until our will for our life lines up with God's, we will be running in the same circles, struggling with the same temptations, storing up bitterness towards a God who never seems to never work the way we want him to. God's will for your life will always be for your growth spiritually. He is not committed to your comfort. He is committed to your character. Funny thing is, we get angry about this! We get flustered when God says no. We throw tantrums when he seems to be unconcerned with our comfort. In reality, he's just holding us up to our end of the deal when we chose Jesus as our Savior. That commitment you signed up for long ago was to begin to become more like Christ. So, everyday, with every request, God is weighing the answer: "Will this granted request ultimately lead them closer to Me or further away?

One of my deepest fears is that I would wake up thirty years from now and see the same "scenery" in my life. Struggle with the same temptations. Battle with the same past disappointments. Remain crippled in my walk out of shame, struggling still to keep my feet grounded and balanced. But, unless I have a teachable heart, that's what I'm headed towards. Unless I obediently surrender to God's will for my life (which includes his rebuke and correction more times than not), spiritual stagnation is my destiny. Bitter and full of resentment, my heart will remain tied down with the things of the past. And all because I refused to be taught. Jesus died for me not only in order to have a pre-paid ticket to heaven, but also for me to experience a pre-paid victory here on earth. I do not intend to miss out on that "abundant life" he has planned for me. Respond to Him with a teachable heart, you'll be surprised at the makeover that happens in your life.

Living Room intimacy...

"You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed." Luke 10:41-42

How many of us have had some screw-ups in life? Me, me, ME!! It's true that as a Christian, we should live under a different standard than the rest of the world. I wish I could tell you that my life story is a series of perfectly spaced stepping stones towards the goal line. But if I were honest, I'd say it's been more of a game of hopscotch. Sometimes I'm standing firm on my two feet, and other times I'm wobbling one leg, barely holding on to what I believe. Needless to say, along the way I've gotten off track a time or two. Times like those make me feel so glad I serve a God who doesn't deal with me as I deserve.

In His love for us, He beckons us to stay close to him; to stay connected to the Vine. Some say that makes life boring and too predictable. "Where's the FUN in living that way?" After many years of wobbling on leg, I can tell you I see things differently. Those years of wavering, although seemingly enjoyable at the time, usually brought additional pain into my life when it was time to face reality and stand on my own two feet again. Doubt, grief, sorrow, confusion, emptiness, shame. These are all words that lurk in the shadow of those days.

When we go through years of these "upsets" in life, they tend to write a story on our hearts that God never intended, one that sets itself up against who God is and what he has planned: "You will never amount to anything now, because of your past," "you ought to be ashamed to call yourself a Christian," "you might as well give up, because God would never want you back." These thoughts echo in our mind, sometimes even louder than the still small voice that still beckons us in our hearts, crippling our ability to move out of shame and sorrow and into God's light again.

Imagine God's love as a spotlight. You are standing on stage, basking in the glow of the spotlight, feeling really loved by God. When you make a mistake you tend to back out of that spotlight, searching for a big enough shadow to hide your mistake. As we spend time in the shadow, we do some "soul-searching," ask for forgiveness, and slowly feel more comfortable inching back into that spotlight of God's love. Then, all is well and good in our world again. We feel loved and accepted again. Did you notice something about that spotlight? It never moved; you did. God's love never leaves you. It never fails you.

So, what do we do about all these things that are written on our hearts, unintended by God? How do we sort out the mess we've inevitably made by allowing those things in? How do we break down the man-made walls we've built around our hearts? This seems like a pretty intimidating "to-do list." I, myself, after surveying the damage I've caused to my life, felt as if I'd NEVER get better. I began to worry that my life would never get sorted out, and the damage I've inflicted on my heart could never be healed. And in the midst of my worry, just as I'm feeling the burning tears coming to my eyes, my Lord speaks tenderly to my heart: "My dear, I'm more than able to heal you. I can erase the unintended things written on your heart, and my eraser is everlasting , never to be remembered again. I only need you to do the "one thing" I told Martha: focus on intimacy with me. Everything else will fall into place. You will no longer be focused on your 'to-do list,' but on the Almighty who is able to make you more than a conqueror."

My friends, that is a hope we can hold onto. That is a truth that asks us to stop trying to make it through this life wobbling on one leg. A truth that gives us enough courage to stand firm on both legs, trusting a God who has our better life in mind! A God who is more than able to "finish the good work" he started in you from the beginning of time! If you haven't ever experienced this sweet aspect of our Savior's discipline, may I suggest a little time in the Living Room? Because when you are busy in the Kitchen, rebuke sounds more harsh and demanding, just one more duty to fulfill on the "to-do list." But when you listen from the Living Room, you hear the love in God's voice and it sounds like life for your soul.