A Pep-Talk for the Heart

My heart and I had a talk this morning. Over the last several days, I've been frazzled over ridiculous concerns and quite honestly I was beginning to even annoy myself. 

I worried if my aerosol can of Olive Oil spray listed propellant in the ingredients. Because surely propellant isn't a legit food group.

I was concerned my dog would chew up a rock and choke on it, because he insists on bringing one in the house every time I let him out. That would then lead me to either have to pay a vet bill to get the rock dislodged or even worse, tell my son he's dead due to my late arrival at the vet.

I've prayed nonstop that Owen's recent sniffles will stop immediately. If he comes down with a cold, or even worse a stomach virus, before we leave for Baltimore this weekend, it would then cause a chain reaction and all of us would wind up sick, therefore allowing none of the Burlison household take the 11 hour drive to visit family.

I've been fighting mad at my husband and his brother for making our departure time for Baltimore to be 3:45 IN THE MORNING! I mean, what is wrong with them?! Have they seen me at 3:45 a.m.?! Do they know they are unleashing the beast within when they mess with my sleep?!

These are just 4 examples. I could embarrass myself further but I've leave it at that. The only consolation I have in my ridiculousness is that David wasn't that different from me. As read through the Psalms, you'll see David jumping with joy and gladness in his heart and turn the page to find him distraught with fear of enemies surrounding him, wondering why God has left him to die. 

I have divided heart. It's part of living in a fallen world. I know God's truth. I know He provides. I know He is control, but do I BELIEVE it? More often times than not, I allow my emotions and concerns for that moment to be bigger than His truth in my heart. I let worry have my allegiance.

It's not wrong to share my concerns to God. There's no sin in asking Him to keep sickness far away. It's a good thing to want to eat and drink things that are good for the body, after all that's the temple we've been given. We should desire to keep it healthy. It becomes a problem when these things overtake me. One thing about David, he was determined not end the chapter in despair. He concludes with a command to his heart to no longer be downcast. An order to put his hope in the Lord. 

The fact that I've let these things fester in my heart, shows me I haven't reminded myself today that God is in control. Not just a gentle reminder, but a forceful one. One that commands my emotions to take a back seat. 

So, heart, time for a little pep-talk … 

Today--

I will use my propellant spray in the cabinet to the glory of God while I scramble my eggs.

I will pray health over Owen and not dwell another minute on the outcome. I'll rev up his immune system and let God do what He will, no matter what the outcome.

I will let my dog out and let him chew as many dang rocks as he pleases. 

I will let my control issues go and KNOW that God has put the desire in the hearts of the men to leave early, and I will remind myself there is always good reason for that. 

I'm sure I'll see worry rear it's ugly head again before the day is through, but I'm determined to lead my heart by the Truth. 

In the words of David...

"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:26

"May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

When Dirty Old Men Meet A Life Well-Lived.

Check out this story about a man named Dominique. He lived his life with no concern of its usefulness. He had complete faith and confidence that his life would have meaning and purpose, and it would flow directly from his personal relationship with Christ. This confidence allowed him to live his life accepting others for who they are, not who they should've become. Lord, guide me into becoming more like Dominique. More like Jesus.

"Dominique Voillaume has influenced my life as few people ever have. He learned at age fifty-four that he was dying of an inoperable cancer. With the community's permission he moved to a poor neighborhood in Paris and took a job as night watchman at a factory. Returning home every morning at 8:00 a.m., he would go directly to a little park across the street from where he lived and sit down on a wooden bench. Hanging around the park where marginal people- drifters, winos, "has-beens," dirty old men who ogled the girls passing by.

Dominique never criticized, scolded, or reprimanded them. He laughed, told stories, shared his candy, accepted them just as they were. From living so long out of the inner sanctuary, he gave off a peace, a serene sense of self and hospitality of heart that caused cynical young men and defeated old men to gravitate towards him like bacon toward eggs. His simple witness lay in accepting others as they were without questions and allowing them to make themselves at home in his heart. Dominique was the most nonjudgmental person I have ever known. He loved with the heart of Jesus.

One day, when the ragtag group of rejects asked him to talk about himself, he gave them a thumbnail description of his life. Then he told them with quiet conviction that God loved them tenderly and stubbornly, that Jesus had come for rejects and outcasts just like themselves. His witness was credible because the Word was enfleshed on his bones. Soon after, the dirty jokes, vulgar language, and leering at women just stopped. 

One morning, Dominique failed to appear at the park bench. The men grew concerned. Few hours later, he was found dead on his apartment floor. He died in the obscurity of a Parisian slum.

Dominique never tried to impress anybody, never wondered if his life was useful or his witness meaningful. He never felt he had to do something great for God. He did keep a journal. His last entry was one of the most astonishing things I've ever read:

'All that is not the love of God has no meaning for me. I can truthfully say that I have no interest in anything but the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. If God wants it to, my life WILL be useful through my word and witness. If He wants it to, my life WILL bear fruit through my prayers and sacrifice. But the usefulness of my life is His concern, not mine. It would be indecent of me to worry about that.'

In Dominique Voillaume I saw the reality of a life lived entirely for God and others. After an all night prayer vigil by his friends, he was buried in an unadorned pine box in the backyard of an old church. A simple wooden cross over his grave that read, 'a witness to Jesus Christ' said it all. More than seven thousand people gathered from all over Europe to attend his funeral."

"A life of love lived unpretentiously for others flowing out of a life lived for God is the imitation of Christ and the only authentic discipleship. A life of service through unglamorous, unpublicized works of mercy is a life marked by the signature of Jesus." 

 Quotes by: Brennan Manning, "The Signature of Jesus" 

 

Turning Distractions into Divine Appointments

I've been busy lately. I've been organizing things for the church while processing orders through my AdvoCare business and making deliveries. I've been a full-time Mommy and a full-time wife, waking early to be sure everyone has had their breakfast, clothes out and ready for the day, lunches packed and the dog fed. I'm a full time chef and housekeeper.I almost feel I work more now than I did when I had my clock-in, clock-out day job. You know, the one I actually got PAID to do! I realize this doesn't seem to be a long "to-do-list" for those of you who have more than one kid, full time jobs and then do everything above and probably more. If that is you, you are my superhero. God gave me one kid and no full time job for good reason! Most days, I can fit in all that needs to be done, but let one thing go wrong that day and all hell breaks loose.

Let me be five minutes late getting out the door.
Let my son make a disaster of a mess on the kitchen floor as we are walking out the door.
Let my husband ask me to run a random errand I wasn't expecting.
Wait for a few minutes while these things pile up and you'll see me emotionally explode all over the ones I love most.
I immediately lose focus and unleash the brunt of a woman scorned, or more precisely, a woman out of control.

This morning as I sit down to spend time in the Word, I'm brought to tears. How can I say to my son, "Follow me as I follow Christ" when my example is "follow-worthy" only when everything is right and on time in my world? I began to look at the life of Jesus and I noticed an uncanny difference in He and I (go figure). He too had a mission to fulfill. He too had limited time. He had a few short years to show the world what God looked like, to fulfill the prophecies and die a sacrificial death. If anyone's feathers should've been ruffled, it was His. With such a tall order to fill, I wouldn't dare take time to enjoy the things He did. I mean seriously, who has time for sleep, rest, sitting down for meals and dancing at a wedding while there's a whole world of lost and dying people to save?! You didn't catch Him glancing at His appointment book, being certain there was a time slot for these things. Jesus partook in all the above with a glad and joyful heart.

"Jesus was able to strike a balance between showing compassion and staying focused on his mission." - Mary Maxwell (missionary)

Looking to Jesus as our example, we can't turn a blind eye to this incredible way about Him. It seems like He chose to see each moment of His day as part of His mission. Almost as if He wanted us to notice God working despite what we would consider to be distractions.

He took time to enjoy the things we haphazardly rush through.
He invited children to interrupt his day.
He stopped to answer questions for wandering hearts and minds.
He allowed Himself to be a vessel for healing, no matter what else was on the day's agenda.
He made relationships, deep ones, with people who would soon abandon him.
He sought out those who would consider themselves unworthy of unconditional love.

He didn't eat lunch on the run, sparing no time for fellowship with his friends.
He didn't harshly scold the child running up to him as if they were an annoyance.
He didn't get angry at the humanness of the people and their mistakes.
He didn't allow his agenda to dictate His day, but the day to dictate the agenda, knowing every appointment was sovereignly appointed by His Almighty Father.
He didn't allow the pain and emotions of befriending many who soon abandon Him to stand in the way of knowing and loving them completely, despite what was certain to come.
He looked for opportunities to show grace, knowing the ones who needed it most would most likely feel unworthy to come looking for Him.

As I think about the ways in which I am far from the character of Jesus, tears fill my eyes. Tears of sadness because I allow myself to be ruled by emotions more often than not. Tears of happiness, knowing that He who began a good work in me is faithful to see it through to completion. I'm thankful His gentle Spirit steers me towards the desire to be more like Christ. And for good reason! It's imperative to a dying world that they see people who are different, who slow down to enjoy this day, time and season with joy and confidence that God is working in the midst.

Jesus was a man with laser-like focus. His purpose, to fulfill the will of the Father. His mission, to save a dying world. His short time here on earth was lived out with peace, joy and compassion. Could He be inviting us to see every event of our lives as a divine appointment instead of an annoying disruption? If he can take time to enjoy the simple things of this lifetime, then so should we.

Let's focus on this mission God has called us to; be it our workplace, our relationships or our agenda for the day, no matter what our emotions tell us.
Let's allow Him access to our appointment book, even when it seems to be full to the brim.
Lets allow our hearts to be refreshed by the comfort of His word, even though it means we must silence the noise.
Tune our hearts to prayer, admitting where we fall short and reminding ourselves God will lead us this day, confident this will bring our will to align with His.
Let's view every moment as irreplaceable. Let's began to enjoy disruptions, though they be many!
Let's realize our time is short, our mission is important and this is not our home!

"The focus of Jesus' life was to stay perfectly attuned to his Father's voice. He was determined to live every moment in harmony with the Father's will." - Jennifer Dean 

Attention All Control Freaks: Rest is Required

I'm not a fan of rest. It feels unproductive. Lazy. Pointless. 

So, what's the problem? Why not just suck it up that I am a "doer" who doesn't need rest?
Well, the problem is the Bible, more importantly, God. He not only seems to think it's important for us to take a day of rest, He actually takes a day off himself. 

Genesis 2: 2-3 “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.”

Mark 6:30-32 "The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves."

During my restlessness, I came across this devotional and it really struck a cord with me:

"We secretly glorify the people who do it all, no matter the costs. Sure, we all have busy seasons with a new baby or the project due at work. But often, I think my refusal to rest is a symptom of self-sufficiency hardening into pride. The longer I’m awake, the longer I can control my environment and my results. It means less trusting that God will give me what I need and more time scraping together what I need and desire. Often, it means getting so busy doing things for God that we neglect our primary relationship with him.

The command to “be at rest” isn’t just for our benefit.  Rest is not a guilty pleasure we have to sneak. Instead, we need to think of rest as a grace-filled reminder that we are creatures of clay dependent on a much stronger God. Our energy levels wind down until we are forced to acknowledge that – surprise! – we can’t engineer our lives as much as we’d like to think. But that weakness allows God to make us a promise in Matthew 11:28: “Come to me… and I will give you rest.”

My disdain of rest really comes down to my need for control. I like scheduling my day. I have a day for grocery shopping. A day for cooking. A time frame for my workout. A time to read. A time to pray. Set times when I eat. An alarm that wakes me up every day. An internal clock that tells me when to sleep. Needless to say, I'm a creature of habit. Let me tell you what happens when this creatures plans get thwarted for the day; I get all bent out of shape. I pitch a fit. I slam doors. I often times lash out at whoever is around me. I make sure everyone in the house knows my frustration at the change in plans. 

Between my husband being down for the count this weekend, causing my plan to paint the church walls to come crashing down; my pastor calling to let me know I'm being disobedient and rebellious by trying to pull my sick husband out to work when we need his voice to lead us in worship on Sunday; a nasty cold invading my body today... I'd say God is trying to teach me a thing or two. His ways are not my ways. His plans are not my plans. If I keep planning out every hour of my day, what room do I leave for Him to intervene? 

Maybe the whole point of rest is to teach the "doers" like me that the world won't stop revolving if I take the day off. By taking a day of rest, I'm forced to let God take the day and do with it what He wills. I'm guessing I need to start allowing this lesson to sink in, or I might see more random sick days in my future. 

As I blow my nose for the millionth time today and sip my hot tea under a heated blanket, I'm reminded of my "humanness." I'm thankful that God is still honored, if not more so, in my rest. Thanks for the day off, Lord :)