I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.
– Hosea 2:20
As Christians, love is the basis of our whole identity. Our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinguish us as Christ’s disciples (John 13:35). It is the root and ground of our existence (Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (1 Peter 4:8). It is a quality that we are to “abound” in more and more (1 Thessalonians 3:12), always getting better at it, becoming increasingly defined by it.
So if love is what we were created to share, what do you do when your love is rejected? How do you handle it when the one to whom you’ve pledged your life stops accepting the love you’re called to give?
The account of prophet Hosea is one of the most remarkable in the Bible. Against all logic and propriety, God instructed him to marry a prostitute. He wanted Hosea’s marriage to show what Heaven’s unconditional love looks like towards us. Hosea’s union with Gomer produced three children but, as expected, this woman who had long made her living in immorality was not content to stay faithful to one man. So Hosea was left to deal with a broken heart and the shame of abandonment.
He had loved her, but she had spurned his love. They had grown close, but now she had been disloyal and adulterous, rejecting him for the lust of total strangers.Time passed, and God spoke to Hosea again. God told him to go and reaffirm his love for this woman who had been repeatedly unfaithful. This time she had reached a new low and had to be bought off the slave block, but Hosea paid the price for her redemption and bought her home. Yes, she had treated his love with contempt. She had dealt treacherously with his heart. But he welcomed her back into his life, expressing an unconditional love.
This is a true story, but it was used as a picture of God’s love for us. He showers His favor on us without measure, though in return we often don’t pay attention. At times we have acted shamefully and deemed His love an intrusion, as if it’s keeping us from what we really want. We have rejected Him in many ways – even after receiving His gift of eternal salvation – and yet He still loves us. He still remains faithful. In Him we have the model of what rejected love does. It stays faithful.
Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount. He said to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).
From the vantage point of the wedding altar, you would never have dreamed that the person you married might later become to you a kind of "enemy," one you would need to love as an act of almost total sacrifice. And yet far too often in marriage, the relationship does indeed dwindle down to that level. Even to the point of betrayal or, sadly, to unfaithfulness.
For many, this is the beginning of the end. Some respond by rapidly moving toward a tragic divorce. Others, more protective of their reputation than even their own happiness, decide to keep the charade going. But they have no intention of liking it--much less of loving each other again.
If love is to be like His, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted. And for your love to be like that, it must be His love to begin with.You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gave undeserved love to you--repeatedly, enduringly. Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least.
The Dare: "Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."
The Outcome: Loving someone who doesn't love you back? That goes against all logic in our minds. No one wants to be a doormat for a man to wipe their feet on. Especially when that man is the one who promised to love and cherish you for all of time. How about loving someone after they've gone outside your relationship? Moving on after they've done the unthinkable? These seem like impossible circumstances to endure, even more impossible to enjoy. And it's impossible to move passed without God's love pushing you along. When left to ourselves and our reasoning, things happen in our marriage that by all human standards say we should GET OUT! But, by God's standards, sometimes (and I repeat, sometimes) He asks us to stay in. Why? To torture us? To punish us for sins of our past? If you believe those are his reasons, you don't know God. God always has your best interest at heart. He always has a purpose for asking you to endure hardship. He always has a better plan in mind.
Loving the unlovable, no matter what the reason, is a high calling. One of the most impossible ones. A calling in which you never look more like Jesus when you live it out. But when God asks you to live in a situation that seems overwhelming, he will give you the equipment you need, like a soldier in combat."And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."
Nathan and I have endured many hardships throughout our seven years. Our love has been tested through some of the toughest waters. There have been times we have chosen to go our own way than God's. We lost focus on Him and the love on which we found each other. But God has a way of not letting go. Even when you are unfaithful to Him, He remains. His presence lingers over your lives until you decide to come back into relationship with Him. Some of our most tragic mistakes have taken place during the times we've chosen to ignore Him. I'm so thankful for a God that doesn't treat us based on what we deserve, but on who He is. A love that is faithful is available to all of us, and it only comes through God. It's free for the taking. But you have to be willing to accept it, keep it, and walk it out on a daily basis.
Day 22: SUCCESS
18 days and counting...
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