Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men.
– Ephesians 6:7 HCSB
But although moods and emotions can create all kinds of moving motivational targets, one is certain to stay in the same place, all the time. When God is your reason for loving, your ability to love is guaranteed.
That’s because love comes from Him.
Think of it like this. When you were a child, your parents certainly established rules for you to follow. Your bedtime was at a certain hour. Your room had to be kept mostly clean. Your schoolwork needed to be finished before you could go play. If you were like most people, you bent these rules as often as you obeyed them. And if not for the incentive of force and consequences, you might not have obeyed them at all.
But if you met Christ along the way or received any kind of Bible teaching, you probably were exposed to this idea – “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). If you took this to heart at all, you knew you didn’t merely have your parents to answer anymore. This was no longer a battle of wills between you and a flesh-and-blood authority figure. This was now between you and God. Your mom and dad were just the go-betweens.
As it turns out, however, the relationship between parents and children isn’t the only thing enhanced by letting God become your driving motivation. Consider the following areas where pleasing Him should become our goal:
Work. “Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23).
Service. “Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord” (Colossians 3:22).
Everything. “Work hard at “whatever you do … knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve” (Colossians 3:23-24).
Even marriage. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
Think of it like this. When you were a child, your parents certainly established rules for you to follow. Your bedtime was at a certain hour. Your room had to be kept mostly clean. Your schoolwork needed to be finished before you could go play. If you were like most people, you bent these rules as often as you obeyed them. And if not for the incentive of force and consequences, you might not have obeyed them at all.
But if you met Christ along the way or received any kind of Bible teaching, you probably were exposed to this idea – “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). If you took this to heart at all, you knew you didn’t merely have your parents to answer anymore. This was no longer a battle of wills between you and a flesh-and-blood authority figure. This was now between you and God. Your mom and dad were just the go-betweens.
As it turns out, however, the relationship between parents and children isn’t the only thing enhanced by letting God become your driving motivation. Consider the following areas where pleasing Him should become our goal:
Work. “Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23).
Service. “Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord” (Colossians 3:22).
Everything. “Work hard at “whatever you do … knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve” (Colossians 3:23-24).
Even marriage. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
The love that’s demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate’s sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.
This change of focus and perspective is crucial for a Christian. Being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply – not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse – changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.
No longer is it this imperfect person who decides how much love you’ll show, but rather it’s your omni-perfect God who can use even a flawed person like yourself to bestow loving favor on another.
Has your wife become fairly hard to live with lately? Is her slowness at getting over a disagreement wearing on your patience? Can she not just give it a rest? Don’t withhold your love just because she thinks differently from you. Love her “as to the Lord.”
Is your husband tuning you out, not saying much, apparently brooding over something he’s not interested in sharing? Do you feel hurt by his unwillingness to open up? Are you tired of him being so short with you, not even responding to the children the way he needs to? Don’t battle back with a double dose of silence and inattention. Love him anyway. “As to the Lord.”
Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for very long. And love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing. Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God – returned to Him in gratitude for all He’s done – is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us.
Those who are fine with mediocre marriages can leave their love to chance and hope for the best. But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best. But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best love you possibly can, you need to shoot for love’s highest motivation. Love that has god as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain.
The Dare: "Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayers again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person – unconditionally, the way He loves both of you."
The Outcome: Nathan's biggest weakness is shopping for shoes. Gym shoes to be exact. Yesterday seemed to be perfect for a shopping day for all of us. I had some things in mind I needed/wanted. He had things in mind, well...just shoes. You would think this would be a fairly easy task, but with my analytical soulmate, shoe shopping is as difficult as it comes. He looks through hundreds of shoes and narrows it down to two and you think it's over. It has only just begun! He has to try walking, running, sitting, standing, skipping (well, maybe not that far) in both pairs of shoes to see their performance. Then, he has to use his phone to research the make of shoe and quality reviews. One shoe store could easily take us an hour, which usually ends with me in the car with Owen, refusing to endure another second of the agony.
Then, I remembered my dare for the day. I could either blame my restlessness on Owen and head for the car to do something more motivating, or I could support his shoe fetish and help him make a decision. I decided on the latter. I helped him compare socks, talked him through the color choice and helped him look up reviews on certain brands. Almost an hour later, and lots of pleading with God (silently, of course) to keep my mouth shut, we were finished and could move on to the most important part of the day: clothes shopping. I was proud of my completed (and very difficult) dare and curious what Nathan had up his sleeve for the day.
Every Tuesday and Thursday evening, I attend Bootcamp. It's my love/hate relationship with Sandman and the other 30 something people that crave punishment in the form of weights and cardio. I usually get home at 8:00 p.m. which doesn't leave much time to finish household chores that might not have gotten done. One of those chores I didn't get to yesterday was laundry. And lots of it. When I got home from Bootcamp, I noticed Owen was in the bathtub and Nathan was finishing folding his third load of laundry. What a sweetheart!
Getting motivated to love is work. People make the mistake of getting married, then expecting it to be an everlasting honeymoon. They couldn't be farther from the truth. It is work. And lots of it. I believe that because marriage is the closest example to the way Christ loves His church, Satan has a mission to destroy it at all costs. I see this running rampant today throughout marriages. Affairs, abuse, control, bitterness. He will use anything he can to pull them apart. The closest blow he can give to God is to attack His Bride. It's time we start recognizing His schemes. Lack of motivation will easily turn to disinterest, which can quickly go towards searching for a new motivation, which might eventually lead to an affair. That's how Satan works: cunningly. Be on the lookout for things that are pulling you away. If you need some motivation, try taking the initiative. If you need a weekend trip away from the kids to rekindle your romance, do it for your marriage's sake! Let's make it our goal to disarm our enemy in order to arm our marriage.
Day 29: SUCCESS
11 days and counting...
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