He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.
– 1 John 3:16 HCSB
But too often the only way we notice that life is hard for our mate is when they start complaining about it. Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they’re under don’t register with us the way it does when it’s our pain and pressure. When we want to complain, we expect everyone to understand and feel sorry for us.
This doesn’t happen when love is at work. Love doesn’t have to be jarred awake by your mate’s obvious signs of distress. Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode. It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. That’s because love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse.
Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don’t notice ahead of time and must be told what’s happening, love responds to the heart of the problem.
That’s what Jesus did. “He laid down His life for us” to show us that “we should also lay down our lives” for others. He taught us that the evidence of love is found in seeing a need in others, then doing all we can to satisfy it. “For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me” (Matthew 23:35-36).
These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband. Instead of sitting around upset that they’re not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your self-pity and turn your attention to their needs.
Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you don’t feel like it?
Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?
Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?
Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.
Often all they really need is just to talk this situation out. They need to see in your two attentive eyes that you truly care about what this is costing them, and you’re serious about helping them seek answers. They need you to pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it’s going.
The solutions may be simple and easy for you to do, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy and great effort. Either way, you should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That’s the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.
The Dare: "What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need."
Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you don’t feel like it?
Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?
Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?
Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.
Often all they really need is just to talk this situation out. They need to see in your two attentive eyes that you truly care about what this is costing them, and you’re serious about helping them seek answers. They need you to pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it’s going.
The solutions may be simple and easy for you to do, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy and great effort. Either way, you should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That’s the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.
The Dare: "What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need."
The Outcome: I am typically a very selfish person, so I'm always looking out for number one. What makes me feel better? What do I feel like doing at the time? How much effort do I feel like putting into that "thing" I don't really care for? This will definitely be something I will have to work on more than just one day because it's a quality that can't just be developed over night. Selfishness is a hard thing to break. Mainly due to the fact you want yourself to be happy, or right, over all else. Naturally, right? But somehow, Jesus didn't live that way. Nor does he want us to. He says to truly love someone, you lay down your life for them. Your wants. Your needs. Your pleasures. For no other reason than to show them love. Now that is a selfless love. And a love that I bet loves back pretty easily.
Pretend you have a love meter. Depending on how much goes into that love meter will depend on how much comes out. If you only put a quarter of a tank of gas in your car, you aren't gonna make it very far until the car stops. The only way to get it running again is to put more gas in. The same is true with our love meters. If you aren't depositing anything into your spouse's meter, it's only a matter of time before they will crash if not given another deposit. I'm determining to make more deposits in Nathan's account from this day forward. I imagine I will be one rich lady one day!
Day 28: SUCCESS
Pretend you have a love meter. Depending on how much goes into that love meter will depend on how much comes out. If you only put a quarter of a tank of gas in your car, you aren't gonna make it very far until the car stops. The only way to get it running again is to put more gas in. The same is true with our love meters. If you aren't depositing anything into your spouse's meter, it's only a matter of time before they will crash if not given another deposit. I'm determining to make more deposits in Nathan's account from this day forward. I imagine I will be one rich lady one day!Day 28: SUCCESS
12 days and counting...
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