Yesterday, as I'm out and about shopping, I decide to make this Christmas special and pick up some art projects. I just know Owen will be so excited when I pick him from school and see the bags full of crafty things we can do together. And best of all, through the glue and glitter, he will day-by-day learn more about Jesus and what Christmas is all about.
Well, things didn't go as planned. I picked him up from school and it seemed he had a chip on his shoulder from the time I left the parking lot. We get home and instead of excitement, I see annoyance. He was annoyed we had to read the Bible story before we started to paint. He just wanted to paint! The glitter glue got stuck in the tip and wouldn't come out right, causing an exploding of glitter all over the table. He couldn't draw the donkey "the right way" and got frustrated. The angel he painted looked less heavenly and more extraterrestrial than anything. The windows in the Advent calendar wouldn't open all the way, causing us to jerk it open, sending the piece of candy inside falling to the floor. What I had planned to be an exciting, bonding experience with the Lord, quickly became reason to adjust this little demon's attitude. One thing led to another and it was obvious this train was headed south at an alarming rate. How could something with such great intentions go so wrong?! Hello, Lord! I'm teaching Him about You…little help here in the attitude department?? PUUULEAASSEE!
My heart was sad, mad and frustrated. I felt unappreciated. My first instinct was to lay down the hammer and let him know what it feels like to be disrespected..to take away the "happy mommy". By dinner time, Owen was exiled to his room to read books and think about his attitude while I took a hot bath. Yes, I'm not ashamed to admit this is a time of recovery for me. Both my boys know, if Momma's in the bath and soft music is playing, she's either praying or reading…LEAVE HER BE! Little did I know, we both needed an attitude adjustment.
I began to just talk to God and share my frustration with Him. Lord, I spent the whole day thinking of Owen. With every tube of glitter glue, every package of pipe cleaners, the mound of marshmallows and cups of paint, I thought of his smile. I imagined how excited he'd be to know I thought of him. I wanted to make this Christmas Story special and personal for Him. He did nothing but sulk, have a bad attitude and show ungratefulness. I'm not even really sure he had a smile on his face. What an ungrateful child!
Then the Lord reminded me how much that sounded like me... "Do you know how many sunsets I paint just for you to marvel at? If you only recognized how many little blessings I sprinkle upon your day that go unnoticed, you'd be in awe."
It was true. Many a times, I've accepted His blessings as just another part of my day. I so wanted today to be special. For Owen to WANT to learn more about Jesus. For Him to enjoy knowing the Lord like I do. I have to remind myself that I don't need bells and whistles to teach His truths. He is enough. The Father is the one who draws people to Him. Teaching Owen through music, art or whatever else I can is great, but most importantly he needs to see a life surrendered to the Lord. And that is much more effective than coming up with a Lesson Plan for the day.
What started, in my mind, as a moment of justified anger towards Owen ended with gentle rebuke from the Lord. Just like Owen, I often take advantage of God's blessings. Just as the Lord's response to my ungratefulness is patient kindness, so should be mine with Owen. The best way I can show Owen Christ is to imitate Him. And the best was to imitate Him is to be daily surrendered to His will and work in my life, daily appreciating the blessings he bestows upon me.
So this afternoon, I will once again give up control. We will add a new scene to our painting, extraterrestrial animals and all. We will laugh at the chocolate falling on the floor, and open another window on the calendar to get a new piece. Glitter may get stuck in the tube, paint all over the table and he may eat too many marshmallows…but we will smile through it all, knowing things don't have to go as planned for the message to sink into our hearts, confident that even in the not-so-perfect attempts, He is working. What a MIGHTY God we serve.
Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the One who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.
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