We can all probably point to some key experiences in our lives where we've been shown undeserved grace. One that sticks out in my mind was a moment in my life, 12 years ago.
Before I explain the situation, I'll need to first let you in on who I was then. I know for those of you who have just come to know me, you may not view me as the selfish, rebellious, anarchist teenager that I was, but allow me to shift your view a bit and enter my mindset.
I'm 17.
I know everything.
I realize this sounds like most teenagers, but I thought I'd remove all doubt that this was me. Now that the stage of my heart is set, we can continue.
It was my senior year of high school. It was a Friday afternoon. I was shopping for some cute graduation clothes for my upcoming graduation that weekend. Without a care in the world, I casually slip a super cute toe ring into my purse and go on my way. About that time someone grabs my arm and politely asks me to come to the back of the store.
We make our way to the back room where the undercover cop explains she has caught me stealing, red-handedly. My sobs and pleading obviously did nothing to sway her decision. I was guilty, sure, but my mind couldn't fathom this to be so harsh a crime that I need be ARRESTED for it! I mean really, there are murderers and rapists needing be locked up and you're confronting me about a $4 toe ring?! A few minutes later, my even greater fear was realized. She needed to call my parents. What would my dad say? What are they going to think of me? I was great at deception. They knew I wasn't perfect, but they certainly wouldn't suspect I would ever steal. Within the hour, my parents are called, the police are on their way to pick me up, and my heart is crushed. The weight of my mistake, my shame, and the law were all coming down on me at once. Then walked in the police officer I'll never forget. He tried to reason with this security guard that I was only a child who made a mistake and obviously was sorry for what I had done. He pleaded with her multiple times on my behalf to no avail.
The officer cuffed me in front instead of behind in hopes of making my long walk through the store to his patrol car less emotionally painful. It didn't work. It was still dreadfully embarrassing. Off to be processed: fingerprints, mug shots, the whole nine yards. I was put in a holding room for what felt like hours. I sobbed until I felt like I had no tears left in me. I couldn't believe what I had become. I was a good girl somewhere deep in there. I had known Christ. I believed in God. I knew right from wrong. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough to keep me from jail cell.
Maybe you've never committed a crime punishable by the state law.
Maybe you've never seen the inside of a physical jail cell.
But we have all been counted as "guilty" before God.
We've all experienced our personal jail cells in life.
We've all felt the weight of consequence.
How many times do we see our sin, our shortcomings. and try to cover them?
How often to we try to pay for it?
"Grace is most needed and best understood in the midst of sin, suffering, and brokenness. We live in a world of earning, deserving, and merit, and these result in judgment. That is why everyone wants and needs grace. Judgment kills. Only grace makes alive."
I view my parents as dictators, hell bent on making life miserable.
I steal things I want because I'd rather spend my money on necessities like American Eagle and Abercrombie clothes than on little frills like makeup and toe rings.
I abuse my parents trust on a daily basis.
I realize this sounds like most teenagers, but I thought I'd remove all doubt that this was me. Now that the stage of my heart is set, we can continue.
It was my senior year of high school. It was a Friday afternoon. I was shopping for some cute graduation clothes for my upcoming graduation that weekend. Without a care in the world, I casually slip a super cute toe ring into my purse and go on my way. About that time someone grabs my arm and politely asks me to come to the back of the store.
My heart is racing.
What do I do?
What do I do?
I've never actually been caught before.
I know. I'll just offer to pay for it. That'll work.
We make our way to the back room where the undercover cop explains she has caught me stealing, red-handedly. My sobs and pleading obviously did nothing to sway her decision. I was guilty, sure, but my mind couldn't fathom this to be so harsh a crime that I need be ARRESTED for it! I mean really, there are murderers and rapists needing be locked up and you're confronting me about a $4 toe ring?! A few minutes later, my even greater fear was realized. She needed to call my parents. What would my dad say? What are they going to think of me? I was great at deception. They knew I wasn't perfect, but they certainly wouldn't suspect I would ever steal. Within the hour, my parents are called, the police are on their way to pick me up, and my heart is crushed. The weight of my mistake, my shame, and the law were all coming down on me at once. Then walked in the police officer I'll never forget. He tried to reason with this security guard that I was only a child who made a mistake and obviously was sorry for what I had done. He pleaded with her multiple times on my behalf to no avail.
The verdict was "guilty."
The officer cuffed me in front instead of behind in hopes of making my long walk through the store to his patrol car less emotionally painful. It didn't work. It was still dreadfully embarrassing. Off to be processed: fingerprints, mug shots, the whole nine yards. I was put in a holding room for what felt like hours. I sobbed until I felt like I had no tears left in me. I couldn't believe what I had become. I was a good girl somewhere deep in there. I had known Christ. I believed in God. I knew right from wrong. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough to keep me from jail cell.
With my mind running a million miles a minute and my parents' disappointment still looming, I imagined what their response would be. Maybe they'd take away my car, my phone, my food, my clothes, most definitely my dignity. I didn't care what they took away at that moment. I just wanted to be home, out of this place I knew I didn't belong. Hours went by. As I sat huddled up in the corner, I heard my name called. I walked down the long hall, dreading the eye to eye moment with my dad. They opened the door to the waiting area and there I see him, signing papers for my release. My mom walks over and hugs me. I think I remember my little brother sitting in the corner, smirking. Then I see my dad, as he finishes signing the papers, meet eye to eye with me. I could see the pain, worry and frustration in his eyes. Without hesitation, he came over to me, put a hand on my shoulder and asked, "Are you ready to get something to eat?" I'm not sure he will ever know the impact those words had on me that day.
When the full brunt of punishment was deserved, but grace was shown instead, it changed my heart. I never stole a single thing again after that day.
Maybe you've never committed a crime punishable by the state law.
Maybe you've never seen the inside of a physical jail cell.
But we have all been counted as "guilty" before God.
We've all experienced our personal jail cells in life.
We've all felt the weight of consequence.
How many times do we see our sin, our shortcomings. and try to cover them?
How often to we try to pay for it?
We think, "Yes I made a mistake there, but I'll make up for it here."
How many times have we dreaded God seeing us in the middle of our struggle, assured He would ashamed of us and condemn us for our crime?
The Law has been laid down. No one is able to keep it perfectly, blamelessly. We are all deserving of a jail cell. The grace and love of God offers us freedom. Where grace is on one end of the sentence, mercy is at the opposite end. Everything in between is covered by Jesus' death on the Cross. Your past, present and future sins have been paid for, indefinitely. It is finished. You are redeemed. You are justified. You are blameless in His eyes. The papers have been signed. We are pardoned and are now welcomed to join Him in the Banquet. My prayer is that God would allow us to see His amazing grace in midst of our circumstances, and upon seeing it, "we will be glad, encouraged and remain true to the Lord with all of our hearts."
The Law has been laid down. No one is able to keep it perfectly, blamelessly. We are all deserving of a jail cell. The grace and love of God offers us freedom. Where grace is on one end of the sentence, mercy is at the opposite end. Everything in between is covered by Jesus' death on the Cross. Your past, present and future sins have been paid for, indefinitely. It is finished. You are redeemed. You are justified. You are blameless in His eyes. The papers have been signed. We are pardoned and are now welcomed to join Him in the Banquet. My prayer is that God would allow us to see His amazing grace in midst of our circumstances, and upon seeing it, "we will be glad, encouraged and remain true to the Lord with all of our hearts."
"Grace is most needed and best understood in the midst of sin, suffering, and brokenness. We live in a world of earning, deserving, and merit, and these result in judgment. That is why everyone wants and needs grace. Judgment kills. Only grace makes alive."
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