The Papers Have Been Signed. Welcome to the Banquet!

"Grace" is thrown around quite casually these days. So what's it really mean? Webster defines it as so: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification ; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace; approval, favor. I guess in simple terms we could simply say that grace is getting something we don't deserve.

We can all probably point to some key experiences in our lives where we've been shown undeserved grace. One that sticks out in my mind was a moment in my life, 12 years ago.
Before I explain the situation, I'll need to first let you in on who I was then. I know for those of you who have just come to know me, you may not view me as the selfish, rebellious, anarchist teenager that I was, but allow me to shift your view a bit and enter my mindset.
I'm 17.

I know everything. 

I view my parents as dictators, hell bent on making life miserable. 

I steal things I want because I'd rather spend my money on necessities like American Eagle and Abercrombie clothes than on little frills like makeup and toe rings. 

I abuse my parents trust on a daily basis. 

I realize this sounds like most teenagers, but I thought I'd remove all doubt that this was me. Now that the stage of my heart is set, we can continue.

It was my senior year of high school. It was a Friday afternoon. I was shopping for some cute graduation clothes for my upcoming graduation that weekend. Without a care in the world, I casually slip a super cute toe ring into my purse and go on my way. About that time someone grabs my arm and politely asks me to come to the back of the store. 

My heart is racing.
What do I do? 

I've never actually been caught before. 

I know. I'll just offer to pay for it. That'll work. 

We make our way to the back room where the undercover cop explains she has caught me stealing, red-handedly. My sobs and pleading obviously did nothing to sway her decision. I was guilty, sure, but my mind couldn't fathom this to be so harsh a crime that I need be ARRESTED for it! I mean really, there are murderers and rapists needing be locked up and you're confronting me about a $4 toe ring?! A few minutes later, my even greater fear was realized. She needed to call my parents. What would my dad say? What are they going to think of me? I was great at deception. They knew I wasn't perfect, but they certainly wouldn't suspect I would ever steal. Within the hour, my parents are called, the police are on their way to pick me up, and my heart is crushed. The weight of my mistake, my shame, and the law were all coming down on me at once. Then walked in the police officer I'll never forget. He tried to reason with this security guard that I was only a child who made a mistake and obviously was sorry for what I had done. He pleaded with her multiple times on my behalf to no avail. 

The verdict was "guilty." 

The officer cuffed me in front instead of behind in hopes of making my long walk through the store to his patrol car less emotionally painful. It didn't work. It was still dreadfully embarrassing. Off to be processed: fingerprints, mug shots, the whole nine yards. I was put in a holding room for what felt like hours. I sobbed until I felt like I had no tears left in me. I couldn't believe what I had become. I was a good girl somewhere deep in there. I had known Christ. I believed in God. I knew right from wrong. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough to keep me from jail cell. 

With my mind running a million miles a minute and my parents' disappointment still looming, I imagined what their response would be. Maybe they'd take away my car, my phone, my food, my clothes, most definitely my dignity. I didn't care what they took away at that moment. I just wanted to be home, out of this place I knew I didn't belong. Hours went by. As I sat huddled up in the corner, I heard my name called. I walked down the long hall, dreading the eye to eye moment with my dad. They opened the door to the waiting area and there I see him, signing papers for my release. My mom walks over and hugs me. I think I remember my little brother sitting in the corner, smirking. Then I see my dad, as he finishes signing the papers, meet eye to eye with me. I could see the pain, worry and frustration in his eyes. Without hesitation, he came over to me, put a hand on my shoulder and asked, "Are you ready to get something to eat?" I'm not sure he will ever know the impact those words had on me that day. 

When the full brunt of punishment was deserved, but grace was shown instead, it changed my heart. I never stole a single thing again after that day. 

Maybe you've never committed a crime punishable by the state law.

Maybe you've never seen the inside of a physical jail cell.

But we have all been counted as "guilty" before God.

We've all experienced our personal jail cells in life.

We've all felt the weight of consequence.

How many times do we see our sin, our shortcomings. and try to cover them?
How often to we try to pay for it? 

We think, "Yes I made a mistake there, but I'll make up for it here." 

How many times have we dreaded God seeing us in the middle of our struggle, assured He would ashamed of us and condemn us for our crime?

The Law has been laid down. No one is able to keep it perfectly, blamelessly. We are all deserving of a jail cell. The grace and love of God offers us freedom. Where grace is on one end of the sentence, mercy is at the opposite end. Everything in between is covered by Jesus' death on the Cross. Your past, present and future sins have been paid for, indefinitely. It is finished. You are redeemed. You are justified. You are blameless in His eyes. The papers have been signed. We are pardoned and are now welcomed to join Him in the Banquet. My prayer is that God would allow us to see His amazing grace in midst of our circumstances, and upon seeing it, "we will be glad, encouraged and remain true to the Lord with all of our hearts." 

"Grace is most needed and best understood in the midst of sin, suffering, and brokenness. We live in a world of earning, deserving, and merit, and these result in judgment. That is why everyone wants and needs grace. Judgment kills. Only grace makes alive."

Dreams, Visions and the Heaviness of a Future America

6:30 am..The morning started off like a typical weekday. The alarm sounds, and by alarm I mean my six-year-old comes into the room asking for a protein bar. Translation: "Good Morning, Mom! I hope your up and ready because I'm bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready to get this day started with high-quailty protein!"

While getting lunches packed, breakfast made, clothes set out and the dog fed, I'm somewhat listening casually to the news. Nothing new really: news about the government shutdown, the insanity of shutting down significant monuments in Washington, the vicious motorcycle gang attack, the heated arguments going on at Capitol Hill, the people paid to come and protest in Washington, Vladimir Putin being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, the increase in outbreaks of diseases being credited to those "non-fully-vaccinated" children in schools. Then, I start to get this restlessness in my heart. A heaviness starts to move in. This is a big deal. These things should not be just taken in half-heartedly and shrugged off just as 'news of the day'. There should be a red flag waving around in that spirit of yours right now. All of a sudden, while zipping closed lunch boxes and giving kisses good-bye, wishing my husband and son a great day today, the gravity of the situation landed.

Thoughts of a future America sent shivers down my spine. Anxiety and concern over what my son's life would look like 20 years from now started to stir deep emotions in me. The realization that my "non-fully-vaccinated" child may, in the near future, be viewed by society as a liability hit me like a tons of bricks. I knew this weightiness, this anxiety, this burden that came on so suddenly was God's way of saying, "It's time to talk." You know that feeling when your Dad walks in the room and you know he will finish the little "chat" with a loving embrace or a comforting word, but the conversation in between will probably be heavy and definitely uncomfortable. With a fresh, hot cup of coffee poured, my journal and Bible in hand, I sat down to listen to what He had to say. He took me to Amos. The name Amos meant to bear a load. Amos was burdened with what he saw in his culture. Outright violence, sin and a culture hell-bent on spitting in God's face. Sound familiar?

9:30 am.. I had typed up a very long, in depth explanation of what was laid on my heart..then God said, "Now delete it and speak short and sweet." I obediently and annoyingly, deleted the entire post and decided to wait.

10ism am... a friend speaks of a dream she had last night about "terrible storms,flooding , dead bodies in every yard face down, the Govt. taking over your homes" and I remembered a blog from way back when that I had posted, sharing a dream that was clearly given for a purpose. If you haven't read it, check it out (Come to the Water). At the end of that post, I included a Scripture that still comes back to my memory when my vivid dreams come and go, "In a dream, a vision of the night, when sound sleep falls on men, while they slumber in their beds, then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction that He may turn man aside from his conduct, and keep man from pride; He keeps back his soul from the pit." Job 33:15-18

1100ish a.m... I read an article posted Govt Shutdown: 9 Million Moms and Babies at Risk As WIC Program Halts. Immediately, thoughts about what I had read this morning and a few weeks ago resurfaced from the corridors of my mind: “For three sins of Ammon, even for four, I will not relent. Because he ripped open the pregnant women of Gilead in order to extend his borders, I will set fire to the walls ...that will consume her fortresses amid war cries on the day of battle, amid violent winds on a stormy day" (Amos 1:13-14) and "How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers...For there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again." (Matthew 24:19-21).

200pm- I see an alarming post Middle East Reports Translation: Obama is a Muslim Terrorist. Of course, with my curiosity high, I take a peek and listen in. If true (and I emphasize IF), I'd consider it a bit scary but not surprising.

230ish pm.. My mom calls and casually mentions that D.C. is on Lockdown. I turn on the news to catch up on what's going on. After hearing the same information over and over again I turn it off.

430pm.. I decide to pick up where I left off on my half-deleted blog.

Why did God have me delete my perfectly rehearsed, spell-checked, full-of-scripture rough draft from this morning? I don't know fully but I have a feeling He is teaching me to really take in the things He lays on my heart. I'm quick to speak, quick to type and quick to "opinionate". In essence, I'm learning the same lesson over and over again: speak less, listen more.

I started thinking about all the recent events: school shootings, chemical gassing, bombings, etc. and it saddened me for a couple of reasons. While I realize evil is present in this world and can't be avoided, I also feel because it is so prevalent, we've become increasingly more desensitized to it. It actually wasn't alarming for me to read about 9 million moms and babies without milk, or our President possibly being a "wolf in sheep's clothing," or D.C. being shutdown because of a crazed woman driving a vehicle into the barricades. Unless these things really sink in how will we ever feel the gravity of it? What burden will we have to pray for our country? The lesson continues but adds another step... speak less, listen more, pray often.

Am I insinuating that the end of the world is upon us? No. But I'm adamantly saying that we are one day closer to the end than we were yesterday. Evil is more prevalent and we are more in need today than ever for those that call themselves Christians to stand up and intercede for this country. Can we prevent all evil from taking place? Certainly not. We live in a fallen world. But can we knock on the doors of the Almighty God who DOES have the power to steer this ship? Absolutely. I am constantly reminding myself that God is Sovereign and He is most definitely in control of this world and yes, even Washington, "for all things in heaven and on earth were created by him – all things, whether visible or invisible, whether thrones or dominions, whether principalities or powers – all things were created through him and for him. He himself is before all things and all things are held together in him" (Col 1:16-17). That gives me a firm footing, a solid foundation, a joy that won't be taken from me...in midst of the confusion of ObamaCare, gun control and government dictatorship.

So why pray, you ask? As any good parent would say, I believe God says the same, "Because I said so." King David asked a similar question, but instead of trying to figure out why God has ordered things this way, He decided to face the more important question, "...what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? – Psalm 8:4. It would do us all good to remember we are not God. We can't think like him. We can't begin to comprehend why he does what he does. If we had all the answers, then faith would be null and void, absolutely unnecessary. So, I chose to have faith.

Faith that my prayers matter.

Faith that He is listening.

Faith that even if prayer is more for my growth than anything, then it's worth it.

Faith that I can take Him for His word that says, "the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry." Psalm 34:15.

I'll leave you with a poem I read today. I hope it helps put things in perspective for you just as it did for me.

He Maketh No Mistake

My Father's way may twist and turn,
My heart may throb and ache,
But in my soul I'm glad I know
He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But still I'll trust my Lord to lead,
For He doth know the way.

Though night be dark and it may seem
That day will never break,
I'll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He maketh no mistake.

There's so much now I cannot see,
My eyesight's far too dim;
But come what may, I'll surely trust
And leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all He'll make;
Through all the way, though dark to me,
He made not one mistake.

(A. M. Overton)

"A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand."- Abraham Lincoln

"Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to malign no one, to be uncontentious, gentle, showing every consideration for all men." Titus 3:1-2

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all men; love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king." 1 Peter 2:13-17

I was planning on taking a few days to let some thoughts simmer around in my brain and heart before I posted another blog, but in lieu of today's events and posts, I just can't help myself. I've seen several posts this morning referring to the government shutdown. All in all, I wouldn't see that as anything out of the norm on Facebook. We tend to, myself included, jump on the bandwagon of whatever is deemed "news-worthy" that day. You know what I'm talking about. If GA wins a game, you will undoubtedly scroll through 20 consecutive posts saying something to the effect of "Go Dawgs", "Sick 'em", or "Rise Up" (oh wait, maybe that's the Falcons?). Or if we get a random snow flurry, you'll have to endure hundreds of posts stating where each flurry fell within a 20 miles radius. I mean really, who needs WeatherBug when you have Facebook?! I guarantee my Facebook friends will alert me of a tornado, hail storm or snow flake well before Ken Cook does. Seriously, it's awesome. Y'all rock.

So, why are my feathers so ruffled by the onslaught of "government shutdown" posts? One thing I've noticed among my Christian friends is the bitterness and disdain in their posts or responses. Don't tell me you can't read "tone" through text or post. You most certainly can. Friends that NEVER post on Facebook are literally coming out of the woodwork to bash, even virtually slaughter, their brother or sister in Christ who has an opposing view.

I will say this as nicely as possible, but again, since you can virtually read my tone, you may sense my frustration here: 

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED. 

Reading through these multiple posts, and i mean MULTIPLE, I began seeing a pattern among us Christians…CHRISTIANS! Why are we the first to state our opinions about how dissatisfied we are?! Shouldn't we be leading by example?! If we look no different then the world, and in this case I'd say some of us have taken it to an extreme that even the world isn't touching, then what should cause the world to turn and follow us as we follow Christ? Am I saying you can't have an opinion in the matter? Of course not! But I am adamantly saying you shouldn't speak it with outright disrespect for authority or your brothers and sisters in Christ. Keep in mind, I'm speaking to those of you who profess Christ is Lord of your life. You know, the Christ you say you trust with your life, your health, your belongings, your livelihood, your family and your future. Do you really??
C'mon guys! We as Christians know how all this ends. Its not like we should be dumbfounded that we are facing struggles and despair.

Jesus reminded us, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). He also warns us of what the end should began to look like in Matthew 24:5-8, "You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains." We know things MUST get bad before they get better. We know that we all are living on borrowed time. Make the most of it! "Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels" (2 Tim 2:23)

Am I justifying our current President and every decision he makes? Absolutely not. There are some things I downright disagree with and I will be sure to let my voice and my vote be heard. But why do I need every Tom, Dick and Harry to know my voice and opinion on these matters?

What power do they have to change my circumstance or situation? None! 

Can we afford healthcare premiums of $1,000 a month? Maybe. If we pinched pennies and ate PB&J sandwiches for every meal. But can we work together with an agent and find out what options would work best for us within our budget? Absolutely. That's being proactive. Can we downgrade my car and get a lower car payment to adjust for upcoming health care expenses? Absolutely. I believe God would love to see America out of debt sooner anyway. Are we better than you because we've taken this approach? No! But I do want you to take a look at your life and your heart and ask God to show you your motives in this matter and why you feel the need to be so brash concerning things you can't control anyway. Ask God to lead you to the best plan for you and your family. Do your research.

But most of all, TRUST HIM with your future. He has promised He will never leave or forsake us. He has told us He is still in control no matter who is running Washington and for "...everyone to be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God" (Romans 13:1).

Let's remember what Jesus came to do. He came to break down walls. Barriers that divide us. Yes, he came so that the Jews and the Gentiles would live at peace together, but isn't it safe to say we almost have the same amount of hatred between the Republicans and Democrats.

I imagine Jesus would see that wall of division just as great as the one that stood between Jew and Gentile.

Let's set an example, Christians, of a people who love despite our differences. Of those who trust in God no matter how dark or gloomy our economy seems. Let's give the world hope. Let's not create division where God wants peace. They will know we are Christians by our love.

"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near." Ephesians 2:12- 14 

The Good News? It's Curable. The Bad News? You Can't Afford It.

Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. - Psalm 51:5

 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.  For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. - Romans 8:6-7

In order for the Good News to actually be good, you have to comprehend the degree of "badness" embedded in the Bad News. 

You are worse off than you think.

 Some of us think we are born into this world innocent, then the world and sin corrupts us, therefore showing us our need for salvation. The problem with that assumption would be The Bible. It tells us that even upon conception we are sinful, never having done anything good or bad. Sin was so devastating, so destructive that it shattered our oneness with God and all of creation. After Adam and Eve sinned, everything turned on itself. Man and woman suddenly felt shame in front of eachother. God became scary and was portrayed to be someone they needed to hide from. The lion and the lamb no longer dined together (at least not in the sense where the lamb would walk away). But one thing was still true, no matter how severe the consequence, God still loved us. All throughout the Old Testament, you see God working with man, making covenants with them they would never keep because they were incapable of following through with such a high order, given their sinful nature and desires. They could pull themselves up by their bootstraps ever so often, but they could not provide a sinless life and sacrifice to appease the wrath of God that settled on men in their sin. Now that we've shed some light on the dark beginning, let's open the curtain on the scene of Good News. 

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. - 1 Peter 3:18

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 

- Ephesians 2:13

Dead in our sins, unable to fully satisfy our debt to God, Christ comes on the scene. He was born of the Holy Spirit through Mary. Now, let's say you are having a hard time settling on the fact that you are born sinful. Well, if that be the case, then why would God require the Spotless Lamb to be born of the Spirit and not of human seed? If we are all born sinless, then there was no use for Jesus to be born supernaturally (unexposed to the sinful human seed). I'll even go further to say, if we are all born innocent, wouldn't it be the worst possible thing for us to hear the Gospel and then have to choose God or Hell? 

I mean if we are innocent, then we are a on a one-way road to heaven! So, the best thing would be for us to never hear the Gospel and go about our lives ignorantly "innocent and blameless". 

Even more than that, there would be absolutely no need for the cross because there would be nothing we needed saving from. This is not so. Christ came supernaturally to carry out what we as sinful humans could not, in order to bring us the peace of God. To settle the score. To be a cup that would hold the wrath of God for our behalf. To present us as blameless and bring us near to God again. What a beautiful picture. That's part one of the Good News. Want to hear the even better news?

 I had concern for my holy name... -Ezekiel 36:21

 I want you to know that I am not doing this for your sake...

 - Ezekiel 36:32

Then they will know that I am the Lord... - Ezekiel 36:38 

God is concerned with His name. It is Holy. His reputation? Flawless. But we Christians still screw things up. The life-long battle is between our Spirit that has now been regenerated and our flesh that still desires the things of this world. We go about our lives trying to live in a way pleasing to God, but ultimately we still fail. For me, I screw up like 10 times a day or more. Even though we have redemption (deliverance upon payment of ransom) and justification (the action of declaring or making righteous in the sight of God), through Christ, we still have the ongoing act of sanctification (set apart for sacred use; to consecrate, make holy) that begins at the time we accept Christ until the time we leave this earth to be with Him forever. So what would be the good news in the fact that God is "concerned for His holy name"? Because he is the God of the universe and has every tool imaginable at his disposal, I'd say he has the upper hand in being certain His name is glorified and His will carried out. Now, I can see where this would seem like bad news if this means that we were now forced to try and clean everything up, stop all our bad habits, follow the Law perfectly..because guess what.. we can't!

So let's sum things up. 

God has seen us in our sin, sent Jesus to die on the Cross so that we stand justified and redeemed before Him because we as humans could not do so, just to now say "Ok, you've got this from here! I've saved you from damnation, now here's hoping you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps and follow my Law.. I got faith in ya! Go for it!" 

Not hardly. Check out what happens next. 

 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. ²⁰ Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.

-Ezekiel 11:19-20

And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.

-Ezekiel 36:27-28

So then it depends not on human will or effort; but on God's mercy. 

- Romans 9:16

"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. -Philipians 2:13

I'd like for you to tell me how many times in the verses above God says, during this process, that YOU have a role in making anything happen. 

Go ahead...

Waiting, waiting, waiting..... 

Ok. Now I want you to notice how many times God says, "I will...". Isn't that a beautiful picture? A Mighty, Sovereign God who sends a sacrifice to satisfy His wrath against sin, who draws us to Christ for redemption, who then causes us to walk in His truth by giving us a new, regenerated heart to serve and love him, and to top it all off, He works in us to will and act in a way that serves to fulfill His purpose in the Earth, for your good and His glory. 

Now I know for some of you, I've just taken a lot of control out of your hands. But doesn't it feel good? Don't you feel like you can REST knowing that God really is in control? That He really is keeping His promise to make His name known and glorified. That's freedom. That helps me to see this present day circumstance as GOOD. That allows me to say a prayer over my child, send him off to school knowing that God is Sovereign no matter what happens that day. That lets me look at terminal illness and say God has a will for my life, and His will brings me joy not matter how many times my happiness leaves me. Maybe that's what Jesus meant when he said, "Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy, my burden is light," Matthew 11:28,30. Doesn't THAT burden seem so light compared to the one we carry when we try to work, and do, and be all that God has called us to be in our own power? 

That sounds like a grace that is amazing..and one that sounds so sweet!

 When I began my journey with Christ, I saw life in yellows, oranges, pinks and bright purples. But as time crept by, temptation crept in, failures began to add up, those bright cheerful colors began to fade away. Now it seemed as if all I could see were the many shades of brown and grey. Things weren't so happy and cheerful. 

Where were the butterflies and day lilies? 

Why didn't the grass seem green anymore? 

Why was the canvas of my life so downcast and dull? 

Instead of running the other way when things got scary, when my 89393th failure reared it's ugly head, I pressed into God. More appropriately, He pressed into me. He began to show me that if I would take a step back, and see the big picture, I would notice that even though the brown looked dark and ugly, it had a purpose. Without the yellow and red, the brown wouldn't exist.

If we can imagine our life span on a canvas, with God as the painter in complete control of the paintbrush, we can trust that the things in our life that seem so abstract and hard to make out, will have a purpose in the end. That purpose will always be for our good and for His Glory. 

I've learned to trust the Painter.

No matter how sloppy the Masterpiece looks at the moment. 

I know, in the end, my life will be finished as a beautiful Masterpiece. 

Beautiful, spotless and in perfect harmony, forever to be displayed in the Heavenlies. 

"To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." 

- Jude 1:24-25

When Grace Doesn't Feel So Amazing

"The.Real.Deal" has been the title of my blog since it first came into existence three years ago. You might wonder, "What's the big deal with a name anyway? Why not just say 'Danielle's Blog'?" Think about the importance of a name for a moment. You spend 9 months debating, arguing and deciding on a name for your child. If you've ever started a business, you may have spent months, possibly years, and might've paid someone to create a name and logo to fit your business according to its purpose. God considered names so important that he even changed the names of grown adults to suffice his plan and purpose for what they were called to do.

“No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; For I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.” Gen. 17:5

“Then God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name.”" Gen. 17:15

Needless to say, we've put value on names for quite some time.

When I titled my blog "The.Real.Deal", I had purpose in it. For time sake (and attention sake for the fellow A.D.D. peeps out there), I'll let you read about that purpose here. If you've followed my blog since yesterday, I've changed the name about four times. I settled on the title above "Amazing Grace: How Sweet the Sound" for a very big purpose. 

In all my years of being a so-called Christian, "grace" didn't always seem so amazing to me. It didn't sound sweet to me. 

I mean, sure, it was nice and all and I really liked the idea of it, but it just wasn't all powerful, life-changing, thought-provoking and inspiring to me. It didn't send tingly sensations down my spine which caused me to rise everyday with thoughts of delight towards God. 

During one of my mundane, gotta-get-up-or-God-may-strike-me-dead quiet times, I noticed something about the believers in the old days that just didn't add up to my present day experience with God. 

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Phillipians 1:21

"My soul yearns for you in the night, in the morning my soul longs for you." Isaiah 26:9

Those were a couple verses that seemed to shed a light on the Gospel I hadn't yet seen in my own life. I definitely didn't see or feel it as powerfully as they did. Either they were wrong or I was. But the Bible is littered with tons of people just like them. People who suffered terrible loss, death and pain but still found the grace and mercy of God as GOOD and SATISFYING. It just wasn't adding up for me. 

So began my search and a journey down my own winding road, where God would meet me there and take the scales from my eyes so I can see. Even though I wasn't out killing Christians and persecuting those that lived for Jesus, like Paul's Story, I was just as lost. Paul thought he was doing RIGHT by the Lord. The Law came from God. He had understood the Law and all the components of cleaning up the outside appearance, but it was time he knew about the love and grace of God. 

If the Gospel up until this point, wasn't life-changing and transforming for me, I had to question if I knew the Gospel in its entirety, or was I following the religion of my parents and serving a God that can be managed, pulling Him out when needed as my own personal genie in a lamp? These were tough questions for me, but I needed answers. On my quest for these answers, God brought us to a place with a pastor who wasn't afraid of questions. Who didn't see our concerns and fears as "blasphemy." Who didn't regard his opinion or ours as something to be considered. He took us to the Bible. He walked us through Scriptures we hadn't seen before in our 20 plus years of serving Christ. 

He sent us home equipped with nothing but bible verses and a prayer. He had complete confidence, given those two things, we'd find our answers.

Shortly after, I got to work. Bible in hand, notebook open, and drenched with prayer, I was determined to figure out this Gospel that seemed so compelling. Upstairs, at 5 a.m. the scales fell off. In midst of the silence, tears began streaming down my face. They weren't all happy tears. There were also tears of sadness, and to be honest, a little fear. It felt as if the foundation I had built my life, and my faith on, was crumbling underneath me. 

From the outside looking in, nothing much changed that day. I still saw God as my creator, Jesus as my Savior, and myself as His child. But on the inside, in my Spirit, I found out what GRACE was. In an instant it became amazing! Out of nowhere it sounded so sweet I couldn't dry my eyes long enough to read anymore! The Word, after that instant, really did become alive! The story of creation that I've known for years suddenly and vividly became a Love story.

A Sovereign God who chose to create me... 

who delighted in my company...

who grieved the day I chose sin over Him...

who rolled up His sleeves...

 and said, "Enough! I'm coming down there to save you." 

I don't know why God chose to lift the scales from my eyes that day. I count myself blessed to understand the Good News to actually be good. And not just good, but life-changing, transforming and satisfying. I want to take you back to the Cliff Notes of the Creation Story. I pray God shows you some of the key things he has shown me. I want you to notice a few things as you read it. 

http://biblehub.com/niv/genesis/3.htm

Ask yourself... 

what happened after they sinned? 

how did they try and cover themselves?

did they go looking for God or did he come looking for them?

notice that even after they fell, God still provided garments for them..

but, they'd already sewn together fig leaves and tried to cover themselves..

what purpose did God have in creating garments of skin for them? 

It's the beginning of a Love story. A grand one at that! Even when we want to hide in our sins, God loves us to much to not come looking for us. And even though we want to offer our good deeds and cover ourselves from God's wrath, he sees it as filthy. So what does a loving Father do? 

He provides a covering. He shows mercy. He extends grace. 

And so begins the journey of putting amazing back into grace...and the purpose of my blog. 

May God be glorified in my life and through this blog...always. 

My Third Marriage and Counting...

You read it right. I have been married to three different people. Some of you are flabbergasted, some of you are in shock, and others of you are agreeing whole-heartedly. I think I will give that another minute to sink in...I HAVE BEEN MARRIED T-H-R-E-E times. I kind of like the awkwardness of this moment, all the questions and assumptions swirling around in your head....

Ok, that's enough...now I will explain. Nathan and I have been married a month shy of eight years. He isn't still married to the wide-eyed, heed over heels, Bible-totin', school girl he fell in love with. I am no longer wedded to the shaggy-haired, thift-store-wearin', guitar-strummin', free spirited boy that once wooed me. We have changed over the years and in a sense have been married to different people at one time or another. We began as the honeymooners, locked in our apartment day and night (reading and doing crossword puzzles, of course.....eeeehhmmm...moving on). In the next year or so, we leveled out and began devoting our time to Bible-thumpin' Christianity, where we preached to any and everyone we met and if you didn't attend a church or play music for the Lord, we didn't converse with you.

 Life began to slowly change us:  job changes, a miscarriage, old friendships fizzling and new ones beginning, and the unexpected conception and birth of our son, thus began marriage number two. We enjoyed our daily life but with new responsibilities surfacing, something had to give. The first thing that went was our intimacy. Late night breastfeeding sessions for me and early work days for Nathan were taking a toll on us. We barely had enough energy from the sleep-deprived nights to make it through the next day, much less throw in the effort to get cleaned up, look sexy and create some sparks that night. Naturally, we progressed into our second marriage: the partnership.

We found different outlets to liven up our relationship, I took my first step towards a dangerous obsession. Taking two diet pills at a time, working out twice a day, and seeking attention wherever I could find it. Nathan took his first step towards distancing himself. He drowned himself in his sports, his work and whatever else could fill his time. We both went out and partied the nights away with friends, not really excited about our marriage or each other for that matter. We entered into a partnership. We talked about important things: Owen, bills, plans for the week, etc...but it never went past surface chats. The further we submerged ourselves in these things, the more we came to grips with the reality that our marriage and life as we know it may be over. We made off-the-wall plans and agreements about what needed to be done. We would go through counseling, just to mark it off the list, then we would go our separate ways. We envisioned this was what would ultimately make both of us happy.



I can't explain to you what happened that year. All I can say is that there was a moment in time when I came face to face with myself, who I was at the moment, and who God wanted me to be. They didn't add up. We had almost thrown away our marriage. If I am being honest, I believe we both stayed together after that for Owen. We didn't want him to suffer. We loved each other deep down but we had no idea how to rekindle romance after everything that had happened. How do you go from being roommates to lovers again? The year after that was an emotional hell for the both us, paddling backwards down an uphill stream with no end in sight. We only knew a few things at that moment: we loved Owen, we loved God and we had to try to make it work.

Somewhere in the midst of our living hell, God became real. We didn't have to ask him to intervene, he just did. The love that kept us together was Owen, the love that bound us together was God's. The words they say at weddings never rings more true than it does to Nathan and I today: "What God has joined together, let no man separate." Even in our most concentrated effort to tear our marriage apart, we were unsuccessful. Why? Because God joined us together. When the battles raged and threatened our union, we desperately pled for guidance, and he was there...waiting, ready to fight for us.

It thrills my heart to tell you as of a year ago, I married a new man. Yes, this will be my third marriage. This man is my companion. We are like a well-oiled machine. It's unrealistic to enter a marriage believing you will always be the same. Time, age and experiences change you. Some for the better, some for worse. But if you can't learn to love the person at their worst, you sure don't deserve them at their best. Do we have our moments? Yes. Do we fight? Of course. But we put time and effort into our marriage. We listen to each other. We say we are sorry, A LOT! We learned our relationship comes first at all costs. And most importantly, we learned not to ever forget our "glue" that holds us together...God. You see the funny thing about glue is it's bonding properties. You need it to bond you together, but if you try to pull one of the pieces apart, one or both of you will break. You need glue. You need the Lord.

"Ready, Set....SURPRISE!"

The decor. The planning. The food. The drinks. The guest list. This is what a surprise party is all about. All of these little details can take weeks, even months to plan and be sure it's carried out well. First and foremost, you have to have an accomplice, or a best friend who you can blackmail into taking on the endeavor with you. Then comes the planning: where will the party be hosted, what are we going to eat, where is it going to come from, what embarrassing game can we make the guest of honor play? Once all of that is decided, then comes my favorite part...the decor! 

In my opinion, a party isn't a party without decor. It makes or breaks the atmosphere. Nothing screams "PARTY!" like wild, obnoxious streamers, gigantic balloons, over-the-top centerpieces and party music. I have prepared for many parties in my lifetime. Whether hosting or participating, I've seen my fair share of planned parties, but until this past week I've never thrown a "surprise party." When preparing a surprise party, every detail matters and the guest of honor is always in the forefront of you mind. 


Recently, I (with the help of some wonderful ladies) prepared a Surprise 30th Birthday party for my sister-in-law. I found myself reflecting on the guest of honor quite a bit during the preparation. It took a couple of months to plan out. I analyzed every detail, questioning possibilities of restaurants or clubhouses to host the shindig, kids or no kids, the type of food she would enjoy, etc. But the question that remained constant in my mind with every decision made was this...Would this particular detail of the party cause her to stop and realize how loved and important she is?


About a week before the party, as I was tying ribbon around a handmade centerpiece, this simple little truth came to me. Isn't that what God did for us? Didn't he throw us a "surprise party" of His own?

 He found his accomplice in Jesus. He carried out a detailed plan for His Son to die a brutal death...for us. It took years to carry out this plan, but it was perfectly perfect. He kept us in the forefront of his mind as he treaded down that dark path to the cross, all the while carrying our burdens on his shoulders, knowing in the end, when we finally walked into the light, we would know His sacrifice...and we would be surprised. I believe my face was what He pictured as he suffered. I believe He saw your face in midst of the pain. He did it all for the moment we would stop everything and say, "Was all of this done just for me?" 


What a plan! It was decorated with moments of happiness, moments of anger, moments of sadness, and times of pain, but it was prepared just for us. For realization we don't have to spend an eternity without Him, for the understanding that He will not treat us as we deserve, but He will freely give us grace...that is why he saw it through til the end. On that day, 2000 years ago, He breathed His last breath, knowing we would one day walk into the Ultimate Surprise...and we would realize we are loved. We are accepted. We are His. 

"Imagine a stormy day at sea: your ship yielding to a relentless wind, pummeled by crashing waves, subject to the awesome force of nature. A force that is both fierce and majestic. A power that is nothing short of furious. Such is God’s intense love for His children.

 There is nowhere God won’t go to find us. No country too distant. No terrain too treacherous. No risk too great. It is a Father’s search for His lost son, His lost daughter. And there are no boundaries to where His love will take Him in order to find us, embrace us, and carry us home!"