My heart and I had a talk this morning. Over the last several days, I've been frazzled over ridiculous concerns and quite honestly I was beginning to even annoy myself.
I worried if my aerosol can of Olive Oil spray listed propellant in the ingredients. Because surely propellant isn't a legit food group.
I was concerned my dog would chew up a rock and choke on it, because he insists on bringing one in the house every time I let him out. That would then lead me to either have to pay a vet bill to get the rock dislodged or even worse, tell my son he's dead due to my late arrival at the vet.
I've prayed nonstop that Owen's recent sniffles will stop immediately. If he comes down with a cold, or even worse a stomach virus, before we leave for Baltimore this weekend, it would then cause a chain reaction and all of us would wind up sick, therefore allowing none of the Burlison household take the 11 hour drive to visit family.
I've been fighting mad at my husband and his brother for making our departure time for Baltimore to be 3:45 IN THE MORNING! I mean, what is wrong with them?! Have they seen me at 3:45 a.m.?! Do they know they are unleashing the beast within when they mess with my sleep?!
These are just 4 examples. I could embarrass myself further but I've leave it at that. The only consolation I have in my ridiculousness is that David wasn't that different from me. As read through the Psalms, you'll see David jumping with joy and gladness in his heart and turn the page to find him distraught with fear of enemies surrounding him, wondering why God has left him to die.
I have divided heart. It's part of living in a fallen world. I know God's truth. I know He provides. I know He is control, but do I BELIEVE it? More often times than not, I allow my emotions and concerns for that moment to be bigger than His truth in my heart. I let worry have my allegiance.
It's not wrong to share my concerns to God. There's no sin in asking Him to keep sickness far away. It's a good thing to want to eat and drink things that are good for the body, after all that's the temple we've been given. We should desire to keep it healthy. It becomes a problem when these things overtake me. One thing about David, he was determined not end the chapter in despair. He concludes with a command to his heart to no longer be downcast. An order to put his hope in the Lord.
The fact that I've let these things fester in my heart, shows me I haven't reminded myself today that God is in control. Not just a gentle reminder, but a forceful one. One that commands my emotions to take a back seat.
So, heart, time for a little pep-talk …
Today--
I will use my propellant spray in the cabinet to the glory of God while I scramble my eggs.
I will pray health over Owen and not dwell another minute on the outcome. I'll rev up his immune system and let God do what He will, no matter what the outcome.
I will let my dog out and let him chew as many dang rocks as he pleases.
I will let my control issues go and KNOW that God has put the desire in the hearts of the men to leave early, and I will remind myself there is always good reason for that.
I'm sure I'll see worry rear it's ugly head again before the day is through, but I'm determined to lead my heart by the Truth.
In the words of David...
"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:26
"May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14
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