"On Belay."

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

A few short months ago, I was disciplined. I was dedicated, determined and dependable to make my 5 A.M. quiet times a priority over any other. Then, Nate got deployed for three weeks. The first two weeks were hit or miss. My morning meetings with God began to be decided on how the night before went with Owen. "If it's past 10 o'clock before I get him in bed, 5 A.M. will get a nice 'SNOOZE' button in the morning," I'd say. The first and second weeks were hit or miss. I'd make it a few mornings, other mornings I'd give in the the power of the snooze button. By the third week, I'm pretty sure the fire alarm couldn't wake me that early. My circumstances changed. My life got busy. I got overwhelmed. At the climax of my stress, time spent in the Word was left behind which, in turn, caused my peace of mind to leave. 


Have you ever been climbing before? When you get to a certain height, your palms get a little clammy , your stomach starts to turn, and the sense you are safe becomes questionable. Your automatic thoughts are spinning, questioning your sanity, whether you might die, and which one of your friends you should dump for dragging you up here. But that's just the first time. The second time, you notice your palms are a little drier, your feet are a little more secure and the butterflies in your stomach aren't fluttering as much. By the third time, you actually enjoy yourself and feel the freedom and power as you reach the top. What would've happened if, after the first time, you gave up because the situation was too fearful? You would've left the experience forever, never to try again, and collected a new fear for the rest of your life. 


Living in peace isn't just something we can change in our minds. It takes action. God will actually lead us into the same spots we would be tempted to avoid, until its no longer a fear. Until we come to grips with that, we will continually find ourselves in those situations. Just hearing verses here and there about how God will guide and care for us won't totally remove the anxiety. We have to continually expose ourselves to uncomfortable situations, so that we learn to embrace the fear, and let God turn it into trust.

On a ropes course when everything is set and you are ready to climb, you say to your guide, "On Belay." To belay a rope means to make it absolutely secure, to fasten it to something immovable. It means you are now connected to something that will keep you from falling, and you will entrust your body to what you say you believe. You will walk (or climb) by faith. 


Oddly enough, Nate just got called for deployment tomorrow. My fearful situation is back again. My chance to face the fear has come just in time. This time, I will trust God. This time, I will stay focused. This time, I will keep the Word by my side. This time Lord, I'm ready.....on belay.