Day Seven: "Love Believes the Best"

"Love believes all things, hopes all things."

1 Cor. 13:7

Up to this point, I have been summarizing our "Love Dare" journey, but this day in particular really hit home for me. It sank in deep. Maybe because I could see my past self in it, maybe because its so brutally honest, maybe because we've come so far...whatever the case, Day Seven was a tear-jerker for me and a MUST read for every one who is or one day will choose to be married. 

"In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It's called the Appreciation Room, where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place. On the walls are written phrases like "honest" and "intelligent," "beautiful" or "diligent worker." They are things you've discovered about your spouse that have been embedded in your memory, things that were likely written in the first stages of your relationship. The more time you spend in this room, the more you appreciate your spouse.

You may have found you don't visit this room very much anymore. That's because there is another room nearby that's competing for your attention: the Depreciation Room. Unfortunately, you visit there often. On it's walls are written things that bother or irritate you about your spouse. These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings and disappointments. This room is lined with the failures and weaknesses of your spouse. If you stay in this room long enough, you get depressed and start expressing it. 

Emotional injuries and bitterness fester here. 

People fall out of love here. 

But know this. Spending time in the Deprecation Room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room. The more time you spend here, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moment you walk in the door, and your care for them lessens by the second. 

You may feel these negative things are all true, but so are the things in the Appreciation Room. Everyone fails. Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and baggage. That is called being human. 

Let's get down to the real issue here. Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists.

 But love chooses not to live there. 

You must decide to stop running to this room and lingering there after every argument in your relationship. It does you no good and drains the joy out of your marriage. 

Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward.

It's time to think differently. It's time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. And the only reason you should enter is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" in huge letters across the wall.

It's time to move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes are yet realized. 

It is a decision you make, whether they deserve it or not."

The Dare: "Get two sheets of paper. One the first one, write out positive things about your spouse. On the second, write out the negative things. Place both sheets in a private place for another day. There is a purpose and plan for each. At some point during the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic."

The Outcome: The reading alone for this day really sparked an interest in Nate and I. It's funny when it's put into imagery like that, you realize how true it is in your life, and more importantly your heart. We've made our lists and we are vowing to spend more and more time in the Appreciation Room. I'm excited to see what is to come with our "lists."

DAY SEVEN: SUCCESS

33 days and counting...