How many of us have had some screw-ups in life? Me, me, ME!! It's true that as a Christian, we should live under a different standard than the rest of the world. I wish I could tell you that my life story is a series of perfectly spaced stepping stones towards the goal line. But if I were honest, I'd say it's been more of a game of hopscotch. Sometimes I'm standing firm on my two feet, and other times I'm wobbling one leg, barely holding on to what I believe. Needless to say, along the way I've gotten off track a time or two. Times like those make me feel so glad I serve a God who doesn't deal with me as I deserve. In His love for us, He beckons us to stay close to him; to stay connected to the Vine. Some say that makes life boring and too predictable. "Where's the FUN in living that way?" After many years of wobbling on leg, I can tell you I see things differently. Those years of wavering, although seemingly enjoyable at the time, usually brought additional pain into my life when it was time to face reality and stand on my own two feet again. Doubt, grief, sorrow, confusion, emptiness, shame. These are all words that lurk in the shadow of those days.
When we go through years of these "upsets" in life, they tend to write a story on our hearts that God never intended, one that sets itself up against who God is and what he has planned: "You will never amount to anything now, because of your past," "you ought to be ashamed to call yourself a Christian," "you might as well give up, because God would never want you back." These thoughts echo in our mind, sometimes even louder than the still small voice that still beckons us in our hearts, crippling our ability to move out of shame and sorrow and into God's light again.
So, what do we do about all these things that are written on our hearts, unintended by God? How do we sort out the mess we've inevitably made by allowing those things in? How do we break down the man-made walls we've built around our hearts? This seems like a pretty intimidating "to-do list." I, myself, after surveying the damage I've caused to my life, felt as if I'd NEVER get better. I began to worry that my life would never get sorted out, and the damage I've inflicted on my heart could never be healed. And in the midst of my worry, just as I'm feeling the burning tears coming to my eyes, my Lord speaks tenderly to my heart: "My dear, I'm more than able to heal you. I can erase the unintended things written on your heart, and my eraser is everlasting , never to be remembered again. I only need you to do the "one thing" I told Martha: focus on intimacy with me. Everything else will fall into place. You will no longer be focused on your 'to-do list,' but on the Almighty who is able to make you more than a conqueror."
My friends, that is a hope we can hold onto. That is a truth that asks us to stop trying to make it through this life wobbling on one leg. A truth that gives us enough courage to stand firm on both legs, trusting a God who has our better life in mind! A God who is more than able to "finish the good work" he started in you from the beginning of time! If you haven't ever experienced this sweet aspect of our Savior's discipline, may I suggest a little time in the Living Room? Because when you are busy in the Kitchen, rebuke sounds more harsh and demanding, just one more duty to fulfill on the "to-do list." But when you listen from the Living Room, you hear the love in God's voice and it sounds like life for your soul.
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